I've seen and read many articles lately by Missionary parents. These articles have been hard to read because each theme seems to be intertwined with the guilt that they feel. Guilt stemming from the upbringing of their children in a different country.
Since I am not a parent, let me write from a perspective that you probably don't have and can never have. From the MK's angle.
On one hand, I get it. Completely. I was that child. I was that child for thirteen years.
That child that did not grow up seeing grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins. I experienced this even before Skype was invented. We used phone cards. Minutes were expensive so the phone calls were very rare.
That child that had to learn a new language and go to a national school which required the language. I was even held back and had to repeat the first grade because French was a struggle for me.
That child that mastered the word "Goodbye" better than any adult, before the age of four. My parent's were involved in Refugee ministry...so friendships were even more fleeting than most.
That child whose size did not work well with the sizes of the country. So clothes and shoes were mainly bought while on stateside.
That child who could not define where home was. Ever.
That child who loved pop tarts and goldfish in a country that had no clue what those were.
That child whose Spiritual development didn't involve vacation Bible schools, awana's, fill in the blank.
And all of these things are more than enough to cause parents to feel like they have hurt their child's upbringing in some way. Question their calling.
I am willing to bet that my parents felt this way at times.
When my mom was leaving the house to do ministry one day, I said "You love the refugees more than you love us." I'd venture to say she questioned her calling on that day.
My dad has even said that when he brought me to my first day of school in Belgium...I begged him to not make me go. But I went.
You see, now, looking back on my upbringing...I didn't miss out at all. I got more than I ever could have imagined.
I didn't get much time with extended family growing up, which allows me to cherish it all the more now. I see so many older kids feeling embarrassed about hanging out with family. I crave it though. I absolutely adore it and jump at any chance I get. I mean, how many people do you know that actually enjoy family reunions?!?
I majored in French in college. It is one of my biggest strengths to this day.
I know how fleeting time can be with people and develop stronger relationships because of this knowledge.
This world is not our home anyway, to not have deep roots in a location is a blessing for me.
Not having much of the Bible studies growing up that churches offer made me love them when we moved back to the states. In college, I went to a different Bible study almost every night....I could not get enough.
When I search Scripture...I read verses such as:
Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way that he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it." And my parents trained me up by instilling the great commission and it's importance into my heart, by living it out with their lifestyles in Belgium.
Titus 2:7 " Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity and dignity."
Luke 10:27 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength and with all your mind."
And Belgium didn't take any of this away. It complemented it.
There should be no room for guilt in your calling, that is straight from the enemy. More than just feeling the guilt...PLEASE do not act on the guilt. Had my parents acted on guilt, I would have been shielded from Belgian culture. They easily could have. And that would have been a horrible mistake.
You should be proud. Proud of the first hand experience that you are giving your child, cultivating in them a heart for God and for the nations. Rest in that. Especially on the hard days.
Since I am not a parent, let me write from a perspective that you probably don't have and can never have. From the MK's angle.
On one hand, I get it. Completely. I was that child. I was that child for thirteen years.
That child that did not grow up seeing grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins. I experienced this even before Skype was invented. We used phone cards. Minutes were expensive so the phone calls were very rare.
That child that had to learn a new language and go to a national school which required the language. I was even held back and had to repeat the first grade because French was a struggle for me.
That child that mastered the word "Goodbye" better than any adult, before the age of four. My parent's were involved in Refugee ministry...so friendships were even more fleeting than most.
That child whose size did not work well with the sizes of the country. So clothes and shoes were mainly bought while on stateside.
That child who could not define where home was. Ever.
That child who loved pop tarts and goldfish in a country that had no clue what those were.
That child whose Spiritual development didn't involve vacation Bible schools, awana's, fill in the blank.
And all of these things are more than enough to cause parents to feel like they have hurt their child's upbringing in some way. Question their calling.
I am willing to bet that my parents felt this way at times.
When my mom was leaving the house to do ministry one day, I said "You love the refugees more than you love us." I'd venture to say she questioned her calling on that day.
My dad has even said that when he brought me to my first day of school in Belgium...I begged him to not make me go. But I went.
You see, now, looking back on my upbringing...I didn't miss out at all. I got more than I ever could have imagined.
I didn't get much time with extended family growing up, which allows me to cherish it all the more now. I see so many older kids feeling embarrassed about hanging out with family. I crave it though. I absolutely adore it and jump at any chance I get. I mean, how many people do you know that actually enjoy family reunions?!?
I majored in French in college. It is one of my biggest strengths to this day.
I know how fleeting time can be with people and develop stronger relationships because of this knowledge.
This world is not our home anyway, to not have deep roots in a location is a blessing for me.
Not having much of the Bible studies growing up that churches offer made me love them when we moved back to the states. In college, I went to a different Bible study almost every night....I could not get enough.
When I search Scripture...I read verses such as:
Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way that he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it." And my parents trained me up by instilling the great commission and it's importance into my heart, by living it out with their lifestyles in Belgium.
Titus 2:7 " Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity and dignity."
Luke 10:27 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength and with all your mind."
And Belgium didn't take any of this away. It complemented it.
There should be no room for guilt in your calling, that is straight from the enemy. More than just feeling the guilt...PLEASE do not act on the guilt. Had my parents acted on guilt, I would have been shielded from Belgian culture. They easily could have. And that would have been a horrible mistake.
You should be proud. Proud of the first hand experience that you are giving your child, cultivating in them a heart for God and for the nations. Rest in that. Especially on the hard days.
Thanks for writing!
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