This is an embarrassing-on-my-part-story. But that's generally how God teaches and molds me. Using ugly experiences and turning them into 'aha moments.'
I wish I could say that I only have to learn things once. And master them from then on out. But I don't. It's a repetitive cycle. And I have to keep running and pressing hard into grace. Daily. And each time...I am welcomed with open arms...Amen?!!
My mom's signature dish is lasagna. If you have ever been over to my house, you know this.
It's the dinner party meal.
Her recipe tops all Italian restaurants in my book. Legit. I have had lasagna in Italy and it didn't hold a candle to my moms. I might be biased, there is that possibility.
She calls it her "Get a boyfriend lasagna."
Know how to make one knock out meal. Just give them the illusion that you can cook, even if this is the only dish you can make is her strategy.
Hannah and Zeitun have had numerous guys over for dinner and their welcome meal...lasagna.
When we get homesick, we miss...lasagna.
About three years ago, my mom had come to Union to spend New Years Eve with me.
It was pure mother and daughter time. We ate at Cheddar's and then watched Dirty Dancing. Be still my heart.
The next morning we woke up, had coffee together and faced the day.
Since it is a seven hour drive from Union to Atlanta she had planned to head back home early New Year's day.
About thirty minutes before she was to walk out the door, I received a text from a friend saying that he was headed back to college and would like to stop by Union to see me first. Like a quick pit stop.
My mom was more excited then I was, and exclaimed that I should have a meal ready for him when he arrives.
I said "moooomm if he's hungry I can take him to the cafeteria or we can go somewhere."
She said, "honey, the way to a guy's heart is through his stomach."
With that, we got the keys and went to Wal-Mart.
She bought all the needed ingredients. And when we got back she began to prepare it.
With the lasagna prepared and in the oven, she decided it was way past time and needed to leave although she would have loved to stay.
When he arrived, I had the table set. Food on it.
And low and behold....he didn't eat a bite! Not one.
He said he was not hungry. He had eaten before he arrived.
He was more than polite about it. So I smiled and kept conversation as if it did not bother me.
Yet the entire time I was thinking "Just take one bite so I can think nicely about you at this point."
The family tradition of lasagna, my mother's excitement, her rush to the store, her preparation in the kitchen, the fact that she got home after 1am because she stayed at Union longer and had to wake up for work the next morning at 8am, the fact that she thought it was all more than worth it because he would be hungry and love it.
It was all hurting my heart.
TAKE A BITE.
Quite honestly, if I had prepared it on my own time, I probably wouldn't have cared so much if he ate it or not. But because it was my mom, it meant more.
It almost seemed disrespectful to my mom. And I don't tolerate that. Not one bit, No sir.
And after that day, conversation slowed down. Skype was less frequent.
It wasn't until this past Summer that my mom asked how things kind of ended with this guy.
I thought it would hurt her feelings so badly so I had never mentioned it before, but finally I just came out and said "mom, he never ate your lasagna. And I cannot have that in my family."
You know what?
She almost fell out of her chair laughing!!
LAUGHING!? I was so confused. I carried this around like a burden. Ended a friendship because they disrespected family, yet not telling anyone what happened because I didn't want her to get her feelings hurt.
And she was laughing.
She said "Wow. You sure did cut his check. You sure are cutthroat Lydia."
And it wasn't until that moment...two years after it had happened that I tried to see his side.
He had stayed up late New Year's Eve, and was driving a long ways back to college. He probably just wanted to get their and crash.
Instead, he chose to stop and come see me, out of pure kindness.
Naturally, he snacked on the road...who doesn't do that on a road trip? so of course, he wasn't hungry. And even if he was, he is not the type to come in expecting to be fed and too polite to ask.
He had class the next morning, and got in late as well.
He did thank me profusely for making it and apologized for not being hungry. (I didn't want to look pathetic so I never said my mom made it, BUT I didn't say I made it either...he assumed the latter.)
It was then that I was reminded of the importance of looking at all angles of a situation.
Putting yourself in another person's shoes so to speak.
Personally, I feel like it is a lot easer to Biblically love someone, when you try to view their side. Even though you may not agree with it, or you may do a few things differently...seeing their side...can help.
It helped with this friend. And yes we are perfectly fine now.
You see, I was only focusing on my family, my views, my customs...and then judged him as being rude and inconsiderate based off of those things.
When people are afraid of roller coasters, the all-too-often-typical response is to belittle their fear and attempt to convince them to ride the roller coaster. If they give in, great! if they don't, we will make sure they remember that they lost out.
But you see...that's wrong. And a small example. But if you do it with the small, trust me it will roll over to the big.
Practice accepting differences this week. And getting every.single.detail. before you make up your mind.
If I had just talked to my mom, I would have seen her reaction and in return it probably wouldn't have been such a big deal to me anymore.
I wish I could say that I only have to learn things once. And master them from then on out. But I don't. It's a repetitive cycle. And I have to keep running and pressing hard into grace. Daily. And each time...I am welcomed with open arms...Amen?!!
My mom's signature dish is lasagna. If you have ever been over to my house, you know this.
It's the dinner party meal.
Her recipe tops all Italian restaurants in my book. Legit. I have had lasagna in Italy and it didn't hold a candle to my moms. I might be biased, there is that possibility.
She calls it her "Get a boyfriend lasagna."
Know how to make one knock out meal. Just give them the illusion that you can cook, even if this is the only dish you can make is her strategy.
Hannah and Zeitun have had numerous guys over for dinner and their welcome meal...lasagna.
When we get homesick, we miss...lasagna.
About three years ago, my mom had come to Union to spend New Years Eve with me.
It was pure mother and daughter time. We ate at Cheddar's and then watched Dirty Dancing. Be still my heart.
The next morning we woke up, had coffee together and faced the day.
Since it is a seven hour drive from Union to Atlanta she had planned to head back home early New Year's day.
About thirty minutes before she was to walk out the door, I received a text from a friend saying that he was headed back to college and would like to stop by Union to see me first. Like a quick pit stop.
My mom was more excited then I was, and exclaimed that I should have a meal ready for him when he arrives.
I said "moooomm if he's hungry I can take him to the cafeteria or we can go somewhere."
She said, "honey, the way to a guy's heart is through his stomach."
With that, we got the keys and went to Wal-Mart.
She bought all the needed ingredients. And when we got back she began to prepare it.
With the lasagna prepared and in the oven, she decided it was way past time and needed to leave although she would have loved to stay.
When he arrived, I had the table set. Food on it.
And low and behold....he didn't eat a bite! Not one.
He said he was not hungry. He had eaten before he arrived.
He was more than polite about it. So I smiled and kept conversation as if it did not bother me.
Yet the entire time I was thinking "Just take one bite so I can think nicely about you at this point."
The family tradition of lasagna, my mother's excitement, her rush to the store, her preparation in the kitchen, the fact that she got home after 1am because she stayed at Union longer and had to wake up for work the next morning at 8am, the fact that she thought it was all more than worth it because he would be hungry and love it.
It was all hurting my heart.
TAKE A BITE.
Quite honestly, if I had prepared it on my own time, I probably wouldn't have cared so much if he ate it or not. But because it was my mom, it meant more.
It almost seemed disrespectful to my mom. And I don't tolerate that. Not one bit, No sir.
And after that day, conversation slowed down. Skype was less frequent.
It wasn't until this past Summer that my mom asked how things kind of ended with this guy.
I thought it would hurt her feelings so badly so I had never mentioned it before, but finally I just came out and said "mom, he never ate your lasagna. And I cannot have that in my family."
You know what?
She almost fell out of her chair laughing!!
LAUGHING!? I was so confused. I carried this around like a burden. Ended a friendship because they disrespected family, yet not telling anyone what happened because I didn't want her to get her feelings hurt.
And she was laughing.
She said "Wow. You sure did cut his check. You sure are cutthroat Lydia."
And it wasn't until that moment...two years after it had happened that I tried to see his side.
He had stayed up late New Year's Eve, and was driving a long ways back to college. He probably just wanted to get their and crash.
Instead, he chose to stop and come see me, out of pure kindness.
Naturally, he snacked on the road...who doesn't do that on a road trip? so of course, he wasn't hungry. And even if he was, he is not the type to come in expecting to be fed and too polite to ask.
He had class the next morning, and got in late as well.
He did thank me profusely for making it and apologized for not being hungry. (I didn't want to look pathetic so I never said my mom made it, BUT I didn't say I made it either...he assumed the latter.)
It was then that I was reminded of the importance of looking at all angles of a situation.
Putting yourself in another person's shoes so to speak.
Personally, I feel like it is a lot easer to Biblically love someone, when you try to view their side. Even though you may not agree with it, or you may do a few things differently...seeing their side...can help.
It helped with this friend. And yes we are perfectly fine now.
You see, I was only focusing on my family, my views, my customs...and then judged him as being rude and inconsiderate based off of those things.
When people are afraid of roller coasters, the all-too-often-typical response is to belittle their fear and attempt to convince them to ride the roller coaster. If they give in, great! if they don't, we will make sure they remember that they lost out.
But you see...that's wrong. And a small example. But if you do it with the small, trust me it will roll over to the big.
Practice accepting differences this week. And getting every.single.detail. before you make up your mind.
If I had just talked to my mom, I would have seen her reaction and in return it probably wouldn't have been such a big deal to me anymore.
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