Tim Tebow.

I went to five different stores.
I had to  have the best pair of pants. They were required to be black. But the black ones I already owned were not 'good' enough in my eyes.
Then came the matter of shoes. They needed to be black as well. Flats mainly. Luckily it did not take as long for me to pick those out.
I would be given a shirt, so no stress in that area. No jewelry allowed.
I painted my nails, probably shouldn't have. But I did nonetheless.
The day finally arrived!
It was killer trying to remain focused during all my classes. Checked those boxes and ran back to my room to change.
Probably drenched myself in perfume. No shame.
You see, I worked in my University's cafeteria all four years. Each Fall and Spring we would have keynote speakers come. We would cater the event.
Tony Blair, Condoleezza Rice, Laura Bush, Tony Dungy, Nick Saban.
But you see this year was Tim Tebow.
Ooohhh ladies. Yes. Him.
My boss found out that I was way more than thrilled that he would be coming.
She asked if I would be interested in waiting on him.
Let me think about it.....OFCOURSE!!
To say that I was nervous is a complete understatement.
I stood right next to him with a tray of food in one hand, and napkins in the other.
I was asked to walk around and offer food to some of the other people in the room. I didn't move a muscle. I froze. Stood next to Tim Tebow and froze. Where he walked, I walked. And I didn't even do this subtly.
My palms sweat profusely when I am nervous, so the napkins were drenched. It was embarrassing.
Yet it was one of the best nights.
I may not have been in a ball gown but it was like my very own Cinderella night.
At Church we have been going through the book of Malachi.
Chapter one focuses on offerings to God. The priests were giving polluted offerings.
I have been thinking a lot lately.
I spent so much time getting ready for two hours worth of Tim Tebow, who call it what it is, doesn't have a clue who I am to this day.
Whereas when I sit down to have quiet time with God...my hair can look a hot mess. My attire is more than likely pajamas. And my palms aren't sweating because I'm not putting as much weight on my moments with God as I was my one time moment with Tim.
It's as if I'm offering Him my polluted self. And not my best.
Hear me, I'm not saying that I have to clean up and get my act together before I spend time with God. But I am saying that I know myself. I know where I place my value. And I know where I should be placing my value.
Tim Tebow does not deserve the best parts of me. God does. Tim deserves the leftovers from that.
Yet how many times in life does it truly work out this way? Too few.
Living overseas, going to the grocery store takes a lot out of me. Mentally. Emotionally. Physically. And quite honestly it is an event. I'll be raw, sometimes God gets my leftovers from that event.
He doesn't get the attune Lydia. He gets the drained Lydia.
Regardless of my justifications and reasoning's...they don't hold any ground at the end of the day before God.
The grocery store may not be easy, language headaches may be real, fill in the blank...but those reasons don't hold any weight for not presenting your best.
This is something that I have been wrestling with. Trying to juggle. It doesn't come naturally. But nothing really does. You have to work at it. Just like riding a bike.
So I find myself in Malachi each Sunday.
Yet I find myself in the Psalms every other day. Learning about David's heart. And I am trying not to offer God my polluted self. I give Him my mind. Heart. Focus. And each day gets better. And some days I have relapses. Thankfully, I stand forgiven and loved either way.

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